This piece reached me in a way few texts ever do. It describes not just the weariness, but the quiet nobility of those who keep trying — who build bridges knowing they may break, who speak knowing they’ll be misunderstood, and who still choose connection over retreat.
I recognize every word, and perhaps even the silence between them. There’s a point beyond frustration where one simply knows: this is how it is meant to be. Not as punishment, but as design — to see, to feel, and to hold more than can be said.
So yes, I understand.
And I’ve stopped trying to fix it.
Acceptance has become its own kind of fluency — a language without translation, spoken softly to oneself.
Thank you for putting into words what most of us have long carried unnamed.
Thanks for this: “It means carrying your own complexity like a precious, private artifact, not an exhibit needing a placard. It means speaking your truth not because it will be perfectly received, but because the act of speaking is an affirmation of your existence. “
I have long suffered from this as well. My view has transformed since. Being understood is separate from feeling understood. Being understood is fantasy; feeling understood is all there really is.
And feeling understood takes a lot less effort than we realize. We can sometimes be quite domineering in demanding absolute understanding from others at all times. This is a hell we create for ourselves and others.
Many souls have transpired on this earth before us - perfectly content, delightfully happy, and feeling connected, without ever having been fully understood. This just goes to show how trivial the requirement actually is, and maybe not what we actually seek.
What we really seek is to know that even if we're not understood, we are loved and seen regardless.
Thank you for writing this beautiful piece. After 2-3 years of shedding old beliefs and discovering knowledge, it has led me to become a different person. I have learned that silence is power when it’s difficult for the others to understand you. You are not made to be understood by everyone. So it becomes profoundly important to find and connect with people who vibrate with you. I’ve stopped explaining myself to those who are not open to hear me. And of course I experience some sadness, but I’ve come to understand that it’s part of life. I choose to open my heart and mind to those who are eager to understand without judgement.
Pro tip from one old introvert to a community of others: It’s a conceit of youth to believe you can share and should share your interiority with others and this is what “true” connection is. Searching for the people you can “be yourself” around is a false hope. The love of your life will sit there while you go off about a bird you saw, and they will not care. They will listen and be happy that you’re excited about the bird. No one actually needs to understand you. You’re not coherent and never will be. They aren’t either. So “imperfect” is not the right framing because it’s based on some kind of platonic idea that there is a more perfect sharing. You don’t even have to try to understand, you just have to listen with love 90% of time and the other 10% take notes because there’s probably some important practical detail that you’ll forget otherwise.
"I am vast. I contain multitudes even I don't fully grasp. It's okay if others only ever glimpse a coastline." It means carrying your own complexity like a precious, private artifact, not a exhibit needing a placard—I love it! This resonated so much with my experience as an over-explainer of the inner workings of my mind. I’m so exhausted with stringing parts of me in pearl necklaces and making them more understandable or palatable for others that I have given up entirely. Now, I just invite people to join me in my next therapy session (which they obviously decline), they give me a confused look like they’re also considering giving up on trying to understand me, and we both move on.
I don’t know about them, but it’s kind of doing wonders for my boundaries and mental peace. 🙂↔️
Thank you for writing this piece and articulating everything so beautifully! 🩶
This piece reached me in a way few texts ever do. It describes not just the weariness, but the quiet nobility of those who keep trying — who build bridges knowing they may break, who speak knowing they’ll be misunderstood, and who still choose connection over retreat.
I recognize every word, and perhaps even the silence between them. There’s a point beyond frustration where one simply knows: this is how it is meant to be. Not as punishment, but as design — to see, to feel, and to hold more than can be said.
So yes, I understand.
And I’ve stopped trying to fix it.
Acceptance has become its own kind of fluency — a language without translation, spoken softly to oneself.
Thank you for putting into words what most of us have long carried unnamed.
Thanks for this: “It means carrying your own complexity like a precious, private artifact, not an exhibit needing a placard. It means speaking your truth not because it will be perfectly received, but because the act of speaking is an affirmation of your existence. “
Just so good.
I never thought any arrangement of words could dissect the silent face holding a storm of chaos within so effortlessly.
I just have no words to appreciate the artist within you who has made me feel so humbled and proud at the same time for being the way we are.
Kudos to you. Your writing has the power to move stones without touching them yet touching them deepest
You write so beautifully. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world. I, for one, feel less lonely because of it.
I have long suffered from this as well. My view has transformed since. Being understood is separate from feeling understood. Being understood is fantasy; feeling understood is all there really is.
And feeling understood takes a lot less effort than we realize. We can sometimes be quite domineering in demanding absolute understanding from others at all times. This is a hell we create for ourselves and others.
Many souls have transpired on this earth before us - perfectly content, delightfully happy, and feeling connected, without ever having been fully understood. This just goes to show how trivial the requirement actually is, and maybe not what we actually seek.
What we really seek is to know that even if we're not understood, we are loved and seen regardless.
Moments of genuinely trying❤️
Thank you for writing this beautiful piece. After 2-3 years of shedding old beliefs and discovering knowledge, it has led me to become a different person. I have learned that silence is power when it’s difficult for the others to understand you. You are not made to be understood by everyone. So it becomes profoundly important to find and connect with people who vibrate with you. I’ve stopped explaining myself to those who are not open to hear me. And of course I experience some sadness, but I’ve come to understand that it’s part of life. I choose to open my heart and mind to those who are eager to understand without judgement.
It’s called autism.
Wow. Your words are really touching me. Those metaphors! Really impressing.
Pro tip from one old introvert to a community of others: It’s a conceit of youth to believe you can share and should share your interiority with others and this is what “true” connection is. Searching for the people you can “be yourself” around is a false hope. The love of your life will sit there while you go off about a bird you saw, and they will not care. They will listen and be happy that you’re excited about the bird. No one actually needs to understand you. You’re not coherent and never will be. They aren’t either. So “imperfect” is not the right framing because it’s based on some kind of platonic idea that there is a more perfect sharing. You don’t even have to try to understand, you just have to listen with love 90% of time and the other 10% take notes because there’s probably some important practical detail that you’ll forget otherwise.
"I am vast. I contain multitudes even I don't fully grasp. It's okay if others only ever glimpse a coastline." It means carrying your own complexity like a precious, private artifact, not a exhibit needing a placard—I love it! This resonated so much with my experience as an over-explainer of the inner workings of my mind. I’m so exhausted with stringing parts of me in pearl necklaces and making them more understandable or palatable for others that I have given up entirely. Now, I just invite people to join me in my next therapy session (which they obviously decline), they give me a confused look like they’re also considering giving up on trying to understand me, and we both move on.
I don’t know about them, but it’s kind of doing wonders for my boundaries and mental peace. 🙂↔️
Thank you for writing this piece and articulating everything so beautifully! 🩶
Beautiful words eloquently placed ❤️
Yes. I see. Not that it will do us any good.
https://biffogram.substack.com/p/death-takes-no-holiday-fe9
I loved this, and thought you might like this one I just wrote: https://jakehpark.substack.com/p/meta-patterns-visions-at-the-end