This essay affirms me. My life has been a holy mess to most onlookers. I wasn't careful, didn't understand why I leaned into recklessness...I wanted to know. I questioned and was quietly rebellious, not needing others to agree...I felt my mother and sisters move some distance from trust. I have accepted loneliness as an important quality in life that is not for alienation but for knowing my mettle. I'm 71 and still curious and kind of excited to be living in these times. Reading your inner musings helped me come along myself and realize it's been a good journey. I didn't lose a drop of love. I step into another year flexing, light-footed, touching skin, fur and leaf with affectionate gratitude and keep moving to see what is. Thank you for this companionship.
Thanks for putting this here. I often look at my own pursuit for authenticity as a folly of youth it seems everyone I'm supposed to look up to has grown out of. It's reassuring to know that the imprisoning armor of conformity isn't inevitable. Here's to another year of quiet rebellion :)
Reading your essays feels like cleaning my oldest, dirtiest pair of glasses... the ones that fit but are ugly so I neglect them. But then I can finally see the world I inhabit and hopefully get something done.
(your essays are actually gorgeous, of course and I thank you for sharing them with us... but I think you know what I mean)
Thank you for turning your very human and very specific authorial voice into something kind for others. Your essays have been a rest stop on the highway of a year of painful but needed changes and it brightens my day to see them come up in my notifications. I hope the writing is soothing for you and the doors that open meet the aliveness with joy.
Timely and appreciated. I wanted to clear out my email before heading out to a New Year’s Eve gathering and found this in my inbox. So glad I took the time to read it before leaving. I will try to remember this advice-tonight and going forward.
I've spent much of the last few months following genuine desire and untying knots of identity. For the first time in my life, I'm beginning to know what I actually want, and how to get there. It is uncomfortable at times, but I'm finally alive.
Thanks for continuing to write my favorite Substack.
WHO ARE YOU? WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND? I mean, I mean all of that, but just like, this piece just absolutely blows my mind in how much it elucidates the tangles in my mind, rn. Your writing is stunningly appreciated! 🙏🏾 surya
Your description of presence — how the present isn’t a waiting room but the ground everything happens in — resonated deeply. Too often philosophy treats the moment as something to explain or escape, but here it feels like you're inviting us to be in the moment as the real horizon of meaning. I’ve been exploring whether eternity isn’t a later state but is embedded in the now itself.
"Anxiety is the interest you pay on a disaster you’ve borrowed." - YES!
This reminds me of Seneca: "A man who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary" and suffering in imagination more than in reality when our perception of events inflates our feelings of discomfort.
This essay affirms me. My life has been a holy mess to most onlookers. I wasn't careful, didn't understand why I leaned into recklessness...I wanted to know. I questioned and was quietly rebellious, not needing others to agree...I felt my mother and sisters move some distance from trust. I have accepted loneliness as an important quality in life that is not for alienation but for knowing my mettle. I'm 71 and still curious and kind of excited to be living in these times. Reading your inner musings helped me come along myself and realize it's been a good journey. I didn't lose a drop of love. I step into another year flexing, light-footed, touching skin, fur and leaf with affectionate gratitude and keep moving to see what is. Thank you for this companionship.
Thanks for putting this here. I often look at my own pursuit for authenticity as a folly of youth it seems everyone I'm supposed to look up to has grown out of. It's reassuring to know that the imprisoning armor of conformity isn't inevitable. Here's to another year of quiet rebellion :)
Reading your essays feels like cleaning my oldest, dirtiest pair of glasses... the ones that fit but are ugly so I neglect them. But then I can finally see the world I inhabit and hopefully get something done.
(your essays are actually gorgeous, of course and I thank you for sharing them with us... but I think you know what I mean)
Thank you for turning your very human and very specific authorial voice into something kind for others. Your essays have been a rest stop on the highway of a year of painful but needed changes and it brightens my day to see them come up in my notifications. I hope the writing is soothing for you and the doors that open meet the aliveness with joy.
At this point, I simply hit the like button before I even finish reading the post.
Beautiful, as always. Please publish all these essays in a book!
I agree! I wish I could hold these in my hands, underline and highlight and gift to friends
Timely and appreciated. I wanted to clear out my email before heading out to a New Year’s Eve gathering and found this in my inbox. So glad I took the time to read it before leaving. I will try to remember this advice-tonight and going forward.
Beautifully written and perfectly articulated. Thank you!
So the takeaway is: stop barricading yourself, pay your anxiety interest, and maybe notice things? Sounds… doable-ish. Brilliantly written, as always.
So timely, and not just because it's a New Year.
I've spent much of the last few months following genuine desire and untying knots of identity. For the first time in my life, I'm beginning to know what I actually want, and how to get there. It is uncomfortable at times, but I'm finally alive.
Thanks for continuing to write my favorite Substack.
I read this aloud to my wife over coffee this morning.
There is some very important psychology in here and some very beautiful phrases ❤️
WHO ARE YOU? WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND? I mean, I mean all of that, but just like, this piece just absolutely blows my mind in how much it elucidates the tangles in my mind, rn. Your writing is stunningly appreciated! 🙏🏾 surya
Thank you so much Surya!
Your description of presence — how the present isn’t a waiting room but the ground everything happens in — resonated deeply. Too often philosophy treats the moment as something to explain or escape, but here it feels like you're inviting us to be in the moment as the real horizon of meaning. I’ve been exploring whether eternity isn’t a later state but is embedded in the now itself.
https://theeternalnowmm.substack.com/p/the-impossibility-of-an-eternal-universe?r=71z4jh
I reccomend you guys read this while listening to pride by kendrick lamar it fit very well
When you're 75, this one hits hard. Hard, but necessary. Congrats on great writing!
"Anxiety is the interest you pay on a disaster you’ve borrowed." - YES!
This reminds me of Seneca: "A man who suffers before it is necessary, suffers more than is necessary" and suffering in imagination more than in reality when our perception of events inflates our feelings of discomfort.