An Existential Guide to: Making Money

moneymoneymoneyMONEY...money...

It is a joy to be welcomed by friends, a terror by a crowd. And I am indeed terrified. With my last post I imagined I would get the usual 2 to 4 likes I always got and maybe one comment to help me keep chugging along in my blissful anonymity. But obviously that didn’t happen. I was met instead with a tidal wave, for which I am grateful for but also anxiousness and scared. For all the accolades given to me I now hope to never let any of you down. Therefore, I have tried to write another piece as quickly as I could as a sort of thank you to everyone for all their kind words. I will also try to publish at least once every two weeks from now on (even with my two overbearingly crappy jobs!). Hopefully I can do just a good as job as the last post. Although with that one I had as much time as I wanted (I had basically no readers remember), allowing myself to luxuriate over the idea of friendship and really think and enjoy. It took me about a month. But you guys have placed your faith in me and I will do my best to deliver!

Talking of friendship, this post is dedicated to

Amethyst

. I never forget a friend and Amethyst were pretty much my sole reader and commenter over the last year, and that last post on friendship was really only possible thanks to their continual motivation and support. So I hope everyone can go over to

Amethyst

‘s poetry and show your appreciation! Thank you

Amethyst

for everything!

This post is itself sorta rushed and because it’s rushed I’m certain some of my cruelty and loneliness has leaked into it - but what, in the end, is money but loneliness and cruelty? So I think the tone fits. Just please don’t barbecue me if its not as good as the last! I will always try harder!

As to the future I have plans to write guides on falling asleep, loneliness and growing old. But if anyone has any other topics for me I am always grateful for fresh ideas!

Finally, I read all your comments and I was deeply deeply moved by them. I am so touched that my writing effected so many of you in such a way. To hear it brought so much joy and happiness and comfort, is wonderful, but let this be a small life lesson to all of you, because I was here all along, you had only to look ;)

The Temptation of St. Anthony - Joos van Craesbeeck

An Existential Guide to: Making Money

I wake up, and already I’m in debt. Not to a bank, not to the credit card company, not to some mafioso with a bad italien accent, a baseball bat and a set of pliers, but to being itself. Every breath costs. Every second the meter’s running. My heartbeat is a coin drop in the cosmic slot machine. Plop. So of course the first question any sane creature must ask is: how do I get some money? Not because money is good. Not because money buys love or friendship or pleasure. Who needs that? But because money is the mask behind which necessity squats, grinning.

Let’s be clear: nobody makes money. You don’t make it, you don’t earn it. You are washed of it, or wrung dry of it. The green notes spill out of the invisible machinery like bile, and we stand around with our mouths open, catching tiny droplets of puke. The stockbroker, the hustler, the TikTok side-grind-half-grinning-guru: they all posture as if they are conjurers of wealth, masters of alchemy, transforming leaden hours into golden profit. In reality, they’re just better at standing under the spout. They’ve found a bucket. You haven’t.